Week 7 Recap: Entering the Home Stretch

Welcome to the home stretch. Only four weeks of regular season play remain, and that means we’re now officially closer to the finish line than we are to the starting blocks. This is usually the part in the season that I like to remind you that these next couple of weeks, prior to crunch time in Weeks 10 and 11, are what may truly make or break your season.

For some, this week will be the beginning of a playoff push after a sluggish start; for others, it’ll be the week they start to fall off their perch – and potentially out of the playoff picture altogether by season’s end. Time to truly separate the pretenders from the contenders.

 

Recaps: 5B

Weapon Unlocked 

It took them six weeks to do it, but we finally got to see the damage Weapon X can do when they play up to their potential. With just 129 yards passing from QB Ryan Browne, their 38-18 victory was as much a defensive win as it was an offensive one. The common denominator on both sides of the ball: athleticism. The biggest X factor was Jahlani Gilbert-Knorren, whose experience as a Concordia QB-turned-receiver was put on display as he caught two TDs, returned a pick for one, and threw for another one for good measure.

But this wasn’t a game you could say Weapon X dominated from start to finish. Siths QB Steph Chartrand made it a game in the first half, as crossing routes in particular got the ball moving enough for him to find the end zone twice. However, it wasn’t enough for Siths to overcome a leg injury to star wideout Mosha Moreau Côté early in the game. Without him on the field, Siths were unable to get anything going in the second half, while defensively Ryan Browne had little difficulty moving the chains.    

It’s only one step forward for Weapon X as they still have a ways to go to get back in the playoff picture. But it’s a step forward nonetheless.

  

Small Giants on Receiving End of Big Upset

I don’t think even Les Pitriotes saw this coming. I mean, how could you? One three-touchdown showing versus GLC aside, Small Giants were simply blowing past teams all season long. You couldn’t even argue that they were just beating up on bad teams – they scored their most points in a game this season versus championship favorites Les Guerriers de l’espace.

Clearly, Les Pitriotes simply didn’t care about any of that.

On Sunday, QB Eli Saleh’s game plan was the same as it’s been pretty much all year – pass short, run, pass short, run, pop it over the top for a long completion downfield. That, and rely on the one-two punch of a speedy rusher in Steve Ouahnoun (two sacks) and a ball-hawking secondary (four INTs) on defense. Put it all together, and you have a 19-6 win against one of the best offenses in 5B – a week after they held a big and fast Jaguars team to just two scores.

At this point, any doubts I had about Les Pitriotes entering this season are pretty much all but erased. If you’re one of the Pitriotes’ remaining opponents and you don’t feel the same yet, don’t worry – you will, you will. 

 

Recaps: 5A

No QB, no Problem 

Sticky Hands vs. Dope Boys ended up being the epic battle I thought it would be, but not exactly for the reasons I expected. Dope Boys were without starting QB Eric Lalonde for this one, choosing to go with team member Antoine Allard-Jacques in his place rather than find a sub. To say it was a disaster would be an understatement. Allard-Jacques couldn’t get anything going offensively, completing just 4 of 11 passes and getting picked off once before giving way to Xavier Comtois. 

On the other side, the decision to start Nicolas Saro in favor of Alexis Labonté worked wonders at first as the Sticky offense marched down the field with relative ease to jump to a 15-0 lead in the first half.

But then they had to play the second half.

At that point it was Sticky’s turn to struggle to find the end zone, moving the ball well only to turn it over once they would reach the red zone. Meanwhile, Comtois was efficient enough to muster up two scores to cut the deficit to 15-12. With the ball back in Comtois’ hands and one final play to go from just beyond half field, it was obvious everyone just what was coming – a jump ball in the back of the end zone. But it was clear who wanted it more that day, as Dope Boys came down with it to compete the comeback and escape with a win. 

 

Laporte l’emporte

If Blackshirts’ two most recent losses were frustrating, this one was overwhelmingly heartbreaking. Their game this past week versus Sphinx started off looking like it would be of the frustrating type, as two early turnovers put them in a 12-0 hole to start the game, a deficit they would carry into the second half. But that’s when Seth Galina provided just the spark Blackshirts needed to get their heads back in the game as Galina picked off QB Julien Laporte and returned it to the house to cut Sphinx’s lead to six.

It wasn’t long before QB Emilio Pampena found his groove, hitting Sergio Sicoli and Dylan Taylor for a touchdown apiece to give Blackshirts their first lead of the game 18-12 late in the contest.

With about two minutes left to play, this one looked to be Blackshirts’ for the taking. That was until a perfect play-call by Laporte – a fly from his snapper right down the middle of the field against man-to-man defense – allowed Sphinx to tie it, and then retake the lead for good with the ensuing conversion. 

 

Power Rankings: 5B

1. Junkyard Dogs (6-0): You know expectations are high when I consider 27 points scored to be a sub par showing.

2. Flying Weasels (6-0): Six games in, and Flying Weasels haven’t scored fewer than the 25 points they put up vs. Rednecks in Week 1. There’s just no stopping this offense.

3. Les Guerrieurs de l’espace (4-2): the lack of consistency defensively worries me – one week they’re shutting down QBs Richard Sherman-style, the next they’re just one big turnstile – but I must say, that was an impressive win versus Jaguars.

4. Takeover (5-1): Good to see Ian Einheiber is back to his 200 yards-passing, half-dozen TD-throwing self.

5. Sunshine Island (6-0): Sure, winning on converts is a bit lucky, but you have to be good to be lucky.

6. Les Pitriotes (5-1): Their offense has been sluggish of late. But their defense has been getting the job done, and that’s what wins championships.

7. Small Giants (4-2): Something’s just not right when you put up 49 points one week and just six the next.

8. St. Lunatics (4-2): Dropping a nail-biter to one of the only remaining undefeated teams is nothing to be ashamed of.

9. Ghosts (3-3): The W is all that matters, but where is the high powered offense that put up seven TDs in Week 1?

10. Rednecks (4-2): Losing without your starting QB isn’t really a loss in my book. They’ll bounce back.

 

Power Rankings: 5A

1. Obamacare (5-1): Two pick 6s from Kyle McGuigan, a rushing TD from Andrew Hopkins, three more scores via Jake Applebaum’s arm. So basically, business as usual for these ridiculous athletes.

2. X-Men (6-0): I have officially taken a big gulp of the X-Men kool-aid.

3. Top Sauce (4-2): Don’t look now, but Vince Nardone is currently leading 5A in touchdown passes.

4. Dope Boys (5-1): I would nominate Robbi Dejean for 5A rookie of the season… if we had a rookie of the season award.

5. Sphinx (5-1): You could probably point to a single play being the difference between victory and defeat in Sphinx’s five wins of the season. But it takes a good team to make those plays.

6. Watch Me Whip (4-1-1): Another week James Nowakowski is kept out of the end zone, another week of struggles for the Watch Me Whip offense.

7. Flagrant Fouls (4-2): A big game over the struggling Fat and Furious aside, Ross Olshanksy’s offense has simmered down a bit since putting up big numbers to start the season. But last I checked Zack Goldstein and Marty Freedman are still on the roster, and it should really be just a matter of time before they get going again. I just hope they wait until next week.

8. Les Verges Folles (4-1-1): I think the collective asses of the Les Verges Folles guys are still red from that spanking.

9. Trapstars (3-3): Back-to-back wins over Sticky Hands and Tomahawk Nightmare is one way to suggest you’re for real. Keeping pace with Obamacare this week would prove it.

10. Sticky Hands (3-3): The offense appears to be moving better with Nicolas Saro at quarterback. But the only issue with that is: who’s he going to throw to? Who in the receiving corps is ready to step into that go-to role?

 

FPF Fantasy Showdown: 5B

Last week…

QB: Daniel Krebs (The Pack): 119 yards passing, 17 yards rushing, 4 passing TDs, 1 rushing TD (no points were designated for rushing TDs in my preseason article, but they should be worth 5 points each) 1 INT, 1 sack = 28 points. Nelson Pereira (Bruins): 123 yards passing, 34 yards rushing, 4 TDs, 2 INTs = 26 points.    

WR: Simon Bosquet Beaudoin (Fuzzy-Kittens): 26 yards receiving. Zach Zwirn (Ghosts) did not catch a pass. SBB gets the automatic win.  

D: GENIE: 12 tackles, 2 sacks, 1 INT, 20 points allowed. I Rep That West: 14 tackles, 3 PDs, 23 points allowed. GENIE get the clear win.

That puts me at 2-1 for the week, bringing me to 9-9 on the season.  

 

This week: 

QB: Vincent Guillette (GENIE) vs. Justin Lerner (Small Giants): A strong game from Guillette this past week, coupled with Lerner proving that he is in fact human vs. Les Pitriotes, would lead one to believe this might actually be a better duel than expected. I still think Lerner bounces back, however.

WR: Alexandre Gigard (Flying Weasels) vs. Antoine Hall (Jaguars): Man, this is going to be a sick game. As regards this head-to-head, you know I’m a sucker for athletes, and Antoine Hall is one of the best in all of Division 5.

D: DG Goons vs. Ghosts: two struggling offenses going head-to-head usually means turnovers galore. Usually.

 

FPF Fantasy Showdown: 5A 

Last week…

QB: Alexis Labonté was benched for Nicolas Saro, while Eric Lalonde didn’t show up at all to the game. So… yeah.

WR: Jordan Mcinnis (Obamacare): 14 yards receiving, 1 TD; Eddy Martinez (Gators):  81 yards receiving, 1 TD. No need to tally, it’s clear Martinez gets the win.

D: No need to tally here either; between the 46 points allowed by Les Verges Folles and 5 INTs recorded by the Top Sauce defense, it’s pretty obvious who won this head-to-head.

So I essentially went 0-3 this week, dropping me to 8-10 on the season.

 

This week:

QB: Jad Aridi (Space Pirates) vs. Justin Lafontaine (Les Albatros): Crazy? Maybe. But I have a feeling Jad is going to run wild against Les Albatros for some big fantasy points, while on the other end I don’t foresee Justin Lafontaine moving the ball so efficiently with ball-hawks Aridi and Rod Mashtoub back there on defense.  

WR: Federico Alzamora (Woofpack) vs. Joseph Buffone (BMS Goats): Time to find out whether Woofpack’s big offensive showing this past week was a fluke or whether they truly turned the corner.  

D: Get on Deck vs. Voo-Zoo: Get on Deck are coming off a big loss while Voo-Zoo are coming off a big win, but I think in this matchup the size and speed advantage is Get on Deck’s defensively. 

 

Random Thoughts 

• Apologies to those players and teams who felt I was too hard on them in my midseason breakdown. The idea was to give my honest assessment of, and general thoughts on each team, and I’m sure for some of you that felt like I was trying to kick you while you were down. If you took my words personally, know that there’s no better way to make me eat them than to prove me wrong. Speaking of which…

• I see you, Tom Gatehouse. Don’t think you would play your best game of the season – I against a solid defense, no less – and that I wouldn’t notice. You made adjustments as needed, spread the ball around, took some shots, read the field well and kept the mistakes to a minimum. Props. 

• Shout-out to Les Huards for their big moral victory this week. A 27-6 loss may not look like much at first glance, but only the Huards can claim to have held the Junkyard Dogs offense to four touchdowns in a game up to this point. It’s even more impressive when considering the Huards’ own offense spotted Junkyard four interceptions.

• Big ups to Pat Lefebvre and the Voo-Zoo offense for finally playing up to their potential this past week. Same goes for Terry Tam and Wolfpack for doing the same. 

• Bigger ups to Vince Nardone for laying waste to Les Verges Folles’ defense. That’s impressive in itself, and even moreso when you consider his highest rated receiver for the game was GM Kolethras at 72.5. 

• There’s a special place in hell for professors that put exams on the first day back from Spring Break.

• Interesting observation of the week: the top two leading rushers in 5B in terms of attempts are Matthew Cinquino, whose Sunshine Island are 6-0, and Eli Saleh, whose Pitriotes are 5-1. The leading rushing touchdown scorer is Alex Rivet, whose Guerriers de l’espace are 4-2. I’m clearly in the wrong division. 

• If someone thinks they know just what exactly NFL coaches and scouts at the Combine are trying to get out of asking questions like these to NFL prospects, give me a call. 

• Just learned yesterday that Ed Sheeran covered Fetty Wap’s “Trap Queen”  and O.T. Genasis’ “CoCo.” Dude’s a badass, straight up.
   

• Thanks for the vote of confidence, Simon.

 

Predictions: 5B

A solid 9-3 week in 5B and 8-3 week in 5A brings me up to 80-58 on the season – just edging Nic Belleau, whose 7-4 record in 5B and 8-4 record in 5A puts him at 79-59 through six weeks. This race is getting too close for comfort.

Green Lantern Corps vs. Les Guerriers de l’espace

Been There Done That vs. Blue Devils 

Junkyard Dogs vs. Weapon X

St. Lunatics vs. Bruins

Small Giants vs. GENIE

Siths vs. Les Huards

DG Goons vs. Ghosts 

Les Pitriotes vs. I Rep That West 

Creamsicles vs. Takeover 

Fuzzy-Kittens vs. Rednecks

Flying Weasels vs. Jaguars 

The Pack vs. Sunshine Island

 

Predictions: 5A

Top Sauce vs. Blackshirts 

Obamacare vs. Trapstars

Space Pirates vs. Les Albatros

Get On Deck vs. Voo-Zoo

Sticky Hands vs. Team Rocket

Woofpack vs. BMS Goats 

X-Men vs. Pardon My Swag

Hot Boys Hotline vs. Fat And The Furious

Supply and Command vs. Flagrant Fouls (N/A) 

Les Verges Folles vs. Sphinx

Dope Boys vs. Watch Me Whip

Gators vs. Tomahawk Nightmare

 

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As always, be sure to tune into the Division 5 podcast at www.youtube.com/flagplus. See you at the fields!