We Goin’ Sizzler – Div 5B Top Dogs

Welcome back, week 4 recap is here. We look at the Div 5B Top Dogs, a bit of an oxymoron because if they were really top dogs, wouldn’t they be in 5A? Maybe these teams will be trying to prove that they should have been in 5A, but then would they still be top dogs? An interesting debate between the strength of 5A and 5B but these teams have made the best of their situation.

We had some major shocks in Div 5 this week and, unfortunately for me, many of them were in my predictions, not playing Mise O Jeu any time soon.

In a match up of undefeated teams, METAVERSE made easy work of the GHOSTS, defeating them 26-6. JONATHAN PEREZ had a good game at QB, going 12 for 19 with 107 YDs, 3 TDs, 1 INT. The real difference maker in this one was NOAH GROPER who managed 2 receiving TDs and 3 SKs on defense. The defensive pressure kept the high scoring GHOSTS to 6 points and forced QB JAHMAAL ROACH into throwing 2 INTs. METAVERSE look like the real deal and will look to continue their great run. The GHOSTS will look to bounce back quickly, maybe give Whoopi a call.

RAVENS were also undefeated and looked like they would continue their run but then the LONGHORNS went and did something radical; they switched QB. End result, LONGHORNS get their first win and defeat the RAVENS 48-36. The main question in this one is who the fook is NICHOLAS DI MAULO? NICHOLAS stepped in at QB and absolutely tore it up, going 18 for 21 with 246 YDs, 7 TDs, 2 INTs. A recent graduate from the FPF JR League, this was his first game at starting QB and he did not disappoint. Just for fun, he added 2 INTs on defense. This kid ate his Wheaties! LONGHORNS are finally on the board and this can be the start of a great run. RAVENS lose but will bounce back quick. Look for a possible playoff rematch.

I can always count on the WARRIORS to come through for me, they defeated the RED DRAGONS 50 – 28. 50! MITCH FERGENBAUM had an absolutely beauty of a game going 22 for 30 with 280 YDs, 8 TDs, 0 INTs. This game was never in question as the WARRIORS had a 26-6 lead at halftime and allowed the RED DRAGONS to creep back into it. WARRIORS bounce back to 3-1-0 and have two pivotal match ups in the next two weeks.

Lastly, WHAT COULD HAVE BEENS bring me to 2-2-0 on the week with their win, 39-34, over TWO PFIZERS AND FOT’S HALF JOHNSON. This was an offensive thriller as both offenses put up great numbers. WHAT COULD HAVE BEENS QB DANIEL BOBIS went 13 for 15 with 194 YDs, 6 TDs, 0 INTs with 3 TDs going to REGIS KODUA. DANIEL is having a solid season so far; over 500 YDs, 17 TDs, 2 INTs in 4 games. TWO PFIZERS AND FOT’S HALF JOHNSON QB DANNY MCFEE went 21 for 30 with 212 YDs, 5 TDs, 1 INT with 4 TDs going to JOEY TAYLOR. The question here for two teams heading in opposite directions is can they get their defense in check and be relevant come playoff time?

Let’s get to the sizzle!

Jimmy Dix: MITCH FERGENBAUM exploded, going 21 for 30 with 280 YDs and 8 TDs as WARRIORS annihilated the RED DRAGONS 50-28. MITCH spread the ball around, hitting 5 different receivers, all for at least 1 TD. MITCH FERGENBAUM took the league by storm in 2018 posting a QB rating of 118.1. He has shared time with MEAN MACHINES, TRAPSTARS, and WARRIORS.

Deacon Moss: JOEY TAYLOR had 9 catches on 13 targets for 124 YDs and 4 TDs as TWO PFIZERS AND FOT’S HALF JOHNSON fell to WHAT COULD HAVE BEENS 34-39. Imagine lining up against a defense that knows you are a one-man show and still coming up with huge numbers, that’s JOEY’s reality on the weekly. I’m sure he would trade it for some wins but right now, he is making the most of the situation. With over 300 games played, JOEY TAYLOR is no stranger to the league. He started in 2013 as a QB, but with a 88 QB rating, he cannot throw in the lower divisions. He currently throws for TWO AND A HALF KITTENS in the CO-ED 1.

Brian ‘Smash’ Williams: SANTINO SPARAGNA ran 3 times for 64 YDs and a TD as THE R.E.E.T. edged out THE MIGHTY 6 22-20. The rushing TD made the difference and assured that THE R.E.E.T. remained undefeated. SANTINO SPARAGNA began his FPF career in 2015 with the COUGARS. He currently plays in Div 4A with SPERA’S COUGARS and in Div 5A with THE R.E.E.T.

Trumaine: PHIL ANGERS had 3 TKs and 3 SKs as AIR FORCE 1 smoked the SAN FRANCISCO 69ERS 50-6. The defensive pressure by PHIL led AIR FORCE 1 to 5 INTs on the night. PHIL also managed an offensive red zone TD. PHIL ANGERS started playing in the league in 2014 and he has 50 games under his belt. He has played with MOOSE, and LES BLUES BRANLEURS just to name a few and he currently plays for AIR FORCE 1.

Steve Lattimer: NOAH GROPER was all over the place in this one. He had 3 SKs against a running QB as the METAVERSE schooled the GHOSTS 26-6. He also had 2 receiving TDs in the win. NOAH GROPER started FPF in 2017 and has over 120 games played. He currently plays Div 3 with SHEESH and Div 5A with METAVERSE. With 4 all-star selections and 2 championships, NOAH is a great 2-way player.

The Good, the Bad, and the Ugly

The Good: BUFFALO WILD WINGS 20-45 STREETS AHEAD

After losing three in a row to start the season, STREETS AHEAD finally get a win under their column. It was done with class, putting up 45 points against a decent opponent. CHARLES WILLIAM TREMBLAY had a great game going 21 for 24 with 198 YDs and 6 TDs. 4 of those TDs went to BRANDON AYLWARD, finally the new QB and veteran WR got on the same page. STREETS AHEAD also impressed defensively with 24 TKs and 3 INTs against a solid QB. Very well done, keep it up.

The Bad: TRAILER PARK BOYS 12-24 TRAPSTARS

TRAILER PARK BOYS began the season with an impressive win but it has been three losses in a row now and they really do not look good. With 5 offensive TDs in the last 3 games the offense is as dry as Sahara, not the desert but the 60 year old pole dancer that works at the local gentleman’s club. The defense is keeping them in games, so there is still hope, but QB ANTOINE MEUNIER has to secure the ball and stop throwing INTs. JEAN-FELIX DALOZE made his debut last week, he has to be more involved going forward.

The Ugly: BINES 12-15 NOT MUSTANGS

The recipe for this category seems simple enough. Throw for under 100 YDs. Both BINES and NOT MUSTANGS were guilty of it in this match up. BINES QB DAVID MICHAUD went 12 for 25 with 94 YDs, 2 TDs, 2 INTs while NOT MUSTANGS QB ALEX KAHAN went 12 for 26 with 90 YDs, 2 TDs, 1 INT. Given that these teams are not defensive juggernauts, the display was abysmal. BINES sit at 1-3-0 while NOT MUSTANGS are 2-2-0. C’MON guys, do better.

Division 5B TOP DOGS

LOCKDOWN (4-0-0) are the only undefeated team in this div 5B so it comes as no surprise that I have them at the 1st spot. Averaging 30.5 points per game, QB BUCK ANEER is having a solid start to the season. The strength of this team is their diverse receiving core. Defensively LOCKDOWN allow an average of 15 points per game and already have 9 INTs. Look for this deep and experienced team to go deep into the playoffs.

LE SPEAKEASY (3-1-0) have only lost one game and it was to LOCKDOWN. Averaging 29 points per game, LE SPEAKEASY are in my 2nd spot. QB MATHIEU OUIMET does not have a chunk of yards but he is responsible with the ball and only has 2 INTs. Six different receivers have scored at least 1 TD so the ball is being spread around. Defensively LE SPEAKEASY have allowed an average of 16 points per game but with only one defensive TD, they rely on the offense to score the points.

WARRIORS (3-1-0) have only lost to LE SPEAKEASY and are averaging 31.5 points per game. As already mentioned QB MITCH FERGENBAUM has been lights out this season with over 600 YDs and 17 TDs. Their receiving core is led by BENJI ZIEGLER but both ADAM RABINOVITCH and DAVID NAHON have been putting up great numbers too. Defensively they allowed 26 points per game, a quite start. The defense will need to improve if they want to stay at the 4th spot.

WHAT COULD HAVE BEENS (3-1-0) have been on a roll with three wins in a row. They average 29.5 points per game, QB DANIEL BOBIS has over 500 YDs with 17 TDs and only has to work on improving his completion percentage. The trio of RANDOLPH KODUA, REGIS KODUA, and ADAM LEROY have been leading the receiving core. If KAYLEM FERDINAND can get more involved, this can be an unstoppable offense. Defensively they have allowed an average of 19 points per game. ADAM leads a decent defense but the team just doesn’t have enough INTs or SKs, I have them at the 3rd spot.

Teoli’s FPF Almanac 2021

GHOSTS (3-1-0) vs BUFFALO WILD WINGS (1-2-1)

THE MIGHTY 6 (2-2-0) vs PINCELLOS (0-3-1)

TRAILER PARK BOYS (1-3-0) vs SAN FRANCISCO 69ERS (0-4-0)

LE SPEAKEASY (3-1-0) vs THREAT LEVEL MIDNIGHT (2-2-0)

Until next week, Pain Heals. Chicks Dig Scars. Glory Lasts Forever.

Frank ‘Falco’ Teoli