The Midseason Breakdown

The fifth week of play has officially come and gone, and that means it’s time for my midseason breakdown. This season I decided to follow the crowd and go with grades based on how I expected the team to perform heading into the season versus how they’ve actually performed (i.e. C means you’ve performed as expected), a list of key to the team’s success moving forward, and the usual final record prediction. Apologies in advance for any grammar mistakes, misspellings, etc. – if you think I proofread this thing you’re crazy. Without further ado, my nearly 8,000-word behemoth:

 

Division 5A

Conference A East 

Tomahawk Nightmare (3-1-1): Fun fact: Spring 2015 aside, Tomahawk’s defense has given up fewer and fewer points every season since making their debut in Spring 2013, and all signs point to them continuing that trend again this winter. It’s not hard to see why: few teams play as fast and physical as these boys do defensively. They may have slipped up against a good Dope Boys squad this past week, but with the one-man wrecking crew that is Olivier Savage leading the way, it would be a total shocker not to see them make the postseason. 

Grade: C  

Key Players: Olivier Savage, Mathieu Cauchon, Jean-François Marquis

Prediction: 8-1-1

 

Watch Me Whip (3-1-1): In weeks 1-3, James Nowakowski caught 14 passes for 167 yards and 7 TDs, as Watch Me Whip started 3-0. In weeks 4-5, Nowakowski managed just six catches for a measly 44 yards and zero TDs – Watch Me Whip went 0-1-1 in that span. The addition of a top level receiver to your roster works wonders, until teams start figuring out ways to cover that receiver properly. And at that point, it’s time for the other receivers on your roster to step up. And that’s what makes WMW’s struggles these past two weeks surprising – between Danny D’Amour and Alex Grey alone, they have the talent to keep the engine going. Sometimes good teams have bad weeks, and that’s what I’ll chalk that up to. This squad is solid.   

Grade: B+

Key Players: James Nowakowski, Danny D’Amour, Jordan Bellemare 

Prediction: 7-2-1

 

Dope Boys (4-1): In preseason, I openly wondered who Robbi Dejean and Jocelyn Ouellet were. The answer: beasts, as I discovered first-hand. With two picks in three games from Ouellet, and 21 catches for a team-leading 280 yards through four games from Dejean, these two additions are contributing exactly as Dope Boys needed them to this season. That being said, Eric Lalonde’s progressive slide from spectacular, to great, to good, to average, is worrisome, but it seems like that was a hiccup more than anything given his stellar performance against one of the top defenses in the division this past week. 

Grade: B+ 

Key Players: Ridwan Abdur, Robbi Dejean, Eric Lalonde

Prediction: 8-2

 

Woofpack (2-3): This is one I simply do not understand. After a strong 8-2 finish in Div 6 last year and a 2-0 start to this season in which they outscored their opponents 52-27, you would think Woofpack’s strong defense alongside an efficient Terry Tam-led attack would have this team looking like shoe-ins for the playoffs by midseason. But while the defense has played up to expectations, Woofpack’s offense has hit a wall with a lone touchdown to its name in each of the past three games. Poor decisions, ugly drops, and an overall disconnect between Tam and his receivers makes it seem as though it would be a miracle to see Woofpack win another game this season. This offense needs to get back to its scoring ways – and quickly.

Grade: D

Key Players: Federico Alzamora, Yacoub Telemaque, Marc-André Benoit   

Prediction: 3-7

 

Space Pirates (1-4): I expected them to face some adversity, but not to this level. Through five games, the most Space Pirates have scored in a game is 19. QB Jad Aridi has barely completed 33% of his passes. The receiving corps has caught a combined 29 passes, and supposed go-to receiver Ryan Aridi has caught just seven of those for barely 100 yards and a lone touchdown. An underwhelming supporting cast hasn’t helped, but there’s no question this lies primarily on Jad’s shoulders. While the defense has started playing as a cohesive unit in the past couple of weeks, you simply can’t expect to win consistently when you barely put up a touchdown a game.

Grade: D+ 

Key Players: Ryan Aridi, Jad Aridi, Alain Aridi

Prediction: 1-9

 

Gators (1-4): The big question coming into the season was how well QB Corey Walwaski would play in place of Steve Sanner, who led the team all the way to the semifinals last year. The answer at this point is simply: good, not great. Walwaski has proven to be an efficient game manager through midseason, but not much more than that as the Gators offense has hit the 30-point mark just once in his four games played. There’s enough blame to go around for their disastrous start, with few players making an impact aside from Eddy Martinez and Evan Cook. A big win over Dope Boys two weeks ago gives hope Gators can turn things around by season’s end. But with games against Obamacare, Tomahawk Nightmare and Les Verges Folles still to come, the chances of that happening look pretty slim.

Grade: D

Key Players: Eddy Martinez, Evan Cook, David Beltrami

Prediction:  3-7

 

Conference A West

X-Men (5-0): Take last year’s roster that finished 3-6-1, and add Kevin Boustany to it. What do you get? The only 5A team to win its first five games of the season. Am I going to sit there with a straight face and tell you Boustany alone is the reason for the turnaround? No. Has he been a DJ Khaled-like major, major key to success though? 100%. As it stands, Boustany is the leading the team in touchdowns and second in receptions and yards. And that’s without mentioning how his presence on the field forces defenses to shift coverage to his side, allowing the likes of Wade Williams and Suhael Brohi to find wide open gaps in the defense. Mix that all up with a QB that simply doesn’t make mistakes and a defense that hasn’t given up over three touchdowns since Week 1, and you have a clear favorite to win the ship.   

Grade: A+

Key Players: Kevin Boustany, Gautama Swaminadhan, Wade Williams

Prediction: 10-0

 

Top Sauce (3-2): QB Vince Nardone in Top Sauce’s three wins: 17 TDs, 1 INT, 168 yards per game, 58.8 completion percentage, and 35 points per game from the offense. Nardone in Top Sauce’s two losses: 4 TDs, 4 INTs, 146 yards per game, 45.8 completion percentage, and an offense that has averaged 13.5 points. You could argue that stats don’t tell the whole story, but they sure seem to tell a good part of it. Rookie FPF receiver/rusher Chris Milard has proven to be another one of those genius pick-ups by GM Kolethras, but the lack of a playmaker not named Vince Nardone in the secondary is sorely lacking. Now, that’s not a problem when Nardone the QB performs at a Division 3 level. As long as he keeps throwing the ball like he did in those three wins and less like in those two losses, Top Sauce will be fine. 

Grade: C

Key Players: Vince Nardone, Chris Milard, Jonathan Brown

Prediction: 6-4

 

Blackshirts (2-3): Through three games, switching Seth Galina with Emilio Pampena looked to be all the change Blackshirts needed to go from strong to dominant in Division 5. Indeed, in those three games the Blackshirts offense scored increasingly more points every week as Galina and Dylan Taylor looked poised to become one of the best receiver duos in 5A. Instead, an injury kept Pampena out for Week 4, and he was average at best in his return the following week. At 2-3, there’s still plenty of hope for Blackshirts to close out the season strong to make the playoffs. But with only one of their last five opponents currently holding a losing record, that’s something easier said than done.

Grade: C-

Key Players: Dylan Taylor, Seth Galina, Emilio Pampena

Prediction: 4-6

 

Pardon My Swag (1-3-1): We’re five weeks into the season, and I still have no clue just who exactly Pardon My Swag are. They lost on converts in week one, put up just 19 points over the next two weeks, then exploded for 45 in their Week 4 win before tying an excellent Watch Me Whip team with a sub in at QB. If recent weeks are any indication, their early season struggles could be simply attributed to stumbling out of the gate. I can’t say I’m fully convinced of that just yet, however. The addition of former York University DB Scott Noivo has paid off dividends on both sides of the ball, while the underrated Olivier Dussault and Patrick Pilotte have been as solid contributors as they were last spring. But it’s all been overshadowed by the overall subpar play of QB Brad Evans – I mean, when you’ve thrown more interceptions than even I have through five games, you know you have some work to do.

Grade: C- 

Key Players: Scott Noivo, Olivier Dussault, Patrick Pilotte

Prediction: 3-6-1

 

Hot Boys Hotline (1-4): To be honest, this team has no business being 1-4. This squad, led by speedsters Vadim Chernyak and Bryden Streeter is too good to be playing the way they have been. But they’re not the problem: truth be told, it all starts at the top with QB Tom Gatehouse. Predetermined reads, errant throws, and an inability or unwillingness to take advantage of mismatches has been holding this offense back all season long – and that’s a shame given how much effort HBH’s defense has put in thus far. There’s still hope given the fact they have perhaps the easiest remaining schedule on paper. But it won’t be a cakewalk given their issues.    

Grade: D

Key Players: Vadim Chernyak, Bryden Streeter, anyone not named Alex D’Aquila 

Prediction: 3-7

 

Supply and Command (2-3) (written by GM Kolethras): S&C are a team built on a gamble. It’s a formula that we see regularly in FPF: star receiver that tries their hand at quarterback. The gamble is whether or not it translates to success. You can have a team of key players with a ton of skill and football knowledge, but without consistency behind center…you’re going to have a bad time. Supply and Command have a solid core, but there’s not enough production out of it to make up for Blanchard’s learning at the quarterback position. Justin’s growing pains as a quarterback peek their head, and the rest of the team has to bear the brunt of keeping their team afloat. Justin Blanchard and Anthony Garant take up a ton of cap space in 5A, and S&C are top-heavy because of it. So, if Blanchard isn’t performing, there’s only so much that the rest of the team can do. However, as Blanchard begins to get reps and gain traction, this team is going to achieve Darkhorse status real fast. The only question is whether there’s going to be enough time for that to happen. 

Grade: C-

Key Players: Ryan Phillips, Anthony Garant, Justin Blanchard

Prediction: 4-6  

 

Conference B East

Sphinx (4-1): There’s little to hate and a lot to love about Sphinx, but somehow I still find myself hesitant to crown them true championship contenders at this point. Specifically, I hate that they got walloped against Obamacare and love that they’re 4-1. But the biggest question surrounding Sphinx is the competition they’ve faced, as those four wins have come against teams with a collective 5-15 record. Than it itself wouldn’t be such a cause for concern if it wasn’t for the fact that Sphinx have won all four of those games by less then a touchdown on average. It leaves me wondering whether they’re contenders playing down to the competition or pretenders getting by on lucky bounces. With games against Les Verges Folles and Tomahawk Nightmare still to come, we’ll find out soon.

Grade: C

Key Players: Justin Arsenault, Philippe Cloutier, Mathieu Fafard  

Prediction: 7-3

 

Les Verges Folles (3-0-2): Two low-scoring ties to start the season is just about the last thing I expected from Les Verges Folles, but given their body of work since then (namely averaging 30 points per game and handing Obamacare their first loss of the season), I can confidently say LVF are indeed the front-runners I thought they were in preseason. That being said, it has still come as somewhat of a surprise given that the team decided this year to switch out Shawn Lafortune at QB and put him at receiver, while taking receiver Vincent Morissette and inserting him at QB. The jury is still out on whether LVF are a better team for it, but one thing’s for sure: these guys are good, and figure to only improve as the season goes on. 

Grade: C-

Key Players: Shawn Lafortune, Kyle Greenbaum, Vincent Morissette

Prediction: 8-0-2

 

BMS Goats (2-3): Having dropped down from Division 4, I’m sure BMS Goats expected to be at a much better spot than 2-3 and coming off a loss to the previously winless Les Albatros. The worst part is, it’s hard to pinpoint exactly what the issue is. Rookie FPF QB Joey Fiorillo has been one of the most efficient QBs of the season thus far, with a 3:1 TD to INT ratio, averaging over 160 passing yards a game while completing over 59% of his passes. Defensively the team has been as balanced as you could ask for, with a good combination of INTs, sacks and PDs. You can’t even really argue that the team is missing a superstar receiver – wideout Joseph Buffone has already proven his worth with a 15-TD season last winter. If you really are what your record says you are, something tells me these guys will finish with a much better record than what they have now.

Grade: C-

Key Players: Joseph Buffone, Anthony Lazzara, Joey Fiorillio  

Prediction: 4-6

 

Get On Deck (2-3): I mocked Get On Deck and their 3,854-man roster in preseason but I can’t give them anything but respect for making it work enough to earn a 2-3 record at the midway point. 2-3 it itself usually isn’t anything to write home about, but let’s put things in context. First, there’s the fact that their roster is essentially all FPF rookies. Second, there’s the fact that three of their first five opponents currently hold a winning record. Third, it should be mentioned that all three of their losses have come against those three teams. Fourth, Get On Deck have lost two of those three games by a single touchdown, coming off a 33-26 loss to LVF and a 19-26 loss to Sphinx. Rotating that many players in a 44-minute game isn’t usually a path to success, but I have to admit that so far they’ve made it work just fine. With games versus X-Men, Dope Boys and Sticky Hands still to come, it wouldn’t surprise me at all to see them pull out at least an upset or two. 

Grade: B-

Key Players: Jean-Jacques Janvier, Peter Scuccimarri, Patrice Lindor

Prediction: 4-6

 

Les Albatros (1-4): 1-4 is a rough record, but let’s note right away that their first four opponents all have winning records at the moment. Now, granted, Les Albatros’ first win came only last week and it was against a team missing its starting QB, but I won’t knock them for it. What I will do instead is give them credit for making what appears to be a permanent switch from Jeremi Durand-Tremblay to Justin Lafontaine at QB. Durand-Tremblay simply wasn’t effective enough to get the offense moving in the first four games of the season despite having a wealth of athletes at his disposal (seeing these guys in action on defense tells you all you need to know). All I wonder now is whether they haven’t made the switch too late – 0-4 is a big hole to dig out of. But if there’s a team with the talent to do it, it’s this one. 

Grade: C  

Key Players: Justin Lafontaine, Antonie Brisson, Etienne Primeau 

Prediction: 3-7

 

Voo-Zoo (1-4): One of the biggest disappointments thus far in my book, and I think they feel the same way. It seems clear that some offseason losses have hurt more than anticipated. Among them: Patrick St-Amand, François Desaulniers and Kevin Marcil, who has played just one game for Voo-Zoo this season. The only proven go-to receiver left on the roster is Etienne Vaillancourt, and he understandably hasn’t been able to do it all on his own. Voo-Zoo need to see some more accurate passes from Pat Lefebvre and fewer drops from the receiving corps to complement a defense that has been generally solid up to this point. If that doesn’t happen, this season could go from bad to worse very quickly for Frank Kaye and company. 

Grade: D

Key Players: Etienne Vaillancourt, Philippe-Olivier Dutrisac, Mathieu Bilodeau  

Prediction: 1-9

  

Conference B West

Obamacare (4-1): I think it’s fair to say no one but Obamacare themselves likely saw this coming. No, I’m not talking about the wins—rather, I’m referring to the sheer dominance they’ve exhibited through midseason. Their tight Week 6 loss aside, Obamacare have outscored their opponents by a total of 87 points. There are stud athletes everywhere, making for about the easiest job in all of 5A for Jake Applebaum: scramble around a bit, toss up a jump ball to Jordan Mcinnis, Andrew Hopkins, Kyle McGuigan or Mike Ambrosino and let them do the work. It’s also made for a defense that swarms to the ball and which makes a goal of getting one, if not two hands on every pass thrown by an opposing QB. Their recent defeat at the hands Les Verges Folles should humble them a little, but who am I kidding – you can be sure these guys still think they’re the best, and I don’t blame them one bit.

Grade: A

Key Players: All of them

Prediction: 9-1 

  

Flagrant Fouls (3-2): The top offense in Division 6 last year has picked things up right where it left off, torching opposing teams for an average of nearly 32 points a game up to this point. The scary part is they haven’t even needed to depend as heavily on Marty Freedman as they did a year ago to do so. Through five games this season, four different players have already notched double-digit receptions, and all seven players to have caught a pass on the year have equally scored at least one receiving touchdown apiece. In other words, your only hope of defending these guys is essentially for QB Ross Olshansky to make a mistake, because otherwise he’s getting the ball to the open receiver, period. Hopes of a second undefeated season in a row were dashed in Week 1, but the chance of going on another deep playoff run look pretty solid to me as long as they keep it up.  

Grade:  A-

Key Players: Marty Freedman, Zack Goldstein, Matt Leblanc

Prediction: 6-4

 

Team Rocket (3-2): They got off to a slow start, but I think we’ve finally starting to see the true Team Rocket in recent weeks. QB Danny Aylward hasn’t exactly been lighting up the scoreboard in his first season as a full-time starter. But with 11 passing TDs to just one interception on the season, there’s no question that he’s kept mistakes to an absolute minimum, and that’s never a bad thing. No, there’s no superstar receiver and the defense doesn’t exactly strike fear in opponents’ hearts. But much like the style of the original version of this team, Two and a Half Dans, it all just works. Games against Watch Me Whip, Sticky Hands and Flagrant Fouls still to come will give us a good indication of whether this team can be called a true championship contender, but I don’t think it’s too early to peg Team Rocket playoff contenders at the very least. 

Grade: B+

Key Players: Danny Aylward, Joey Taylor, Alex Joltopuf  

Prediction: 5-5

 

Sticky Hands (3-2): Boy, talk about a tale of two halves. Sticky Hands hit the ground running with two stunning comeback wins in a row to start the season before laying a beatdown on Fat And The Furious in Week 3. QB Alexis Labonté was on top of his game, receivers Nicolas Saro, Jean-Philippe Nadeau and Lambert Gosselin took turns showing they can be counted upon to be the go-to guy, and then the offense ran into a brick wall named Obamacare. Things didn’t look all that much better this past week versus Trapstars. It looks I simply could’ve carried over what I said about Sticky Hands in preseason into their midseasaon breakdown: “Consistency will be key to a successful season for Sticky Hands; over the course of their first two seasons in FPF, their offense has scored at will one week only to disappear completely the next.” It looks like nothing has changed for Sticky Hands this season. Not yet, anyway.  

Grade: C

Key Players: Alexis Labonté, Nicolas Saro, Lambert Gosselin

Prediction: 6-4

 

Trapstars (2-2-1): Coming off a 5-5 season last year, I had so much hope this would finally be the season we see Trapstars step up to the next level and become a team to be reckoned with. Instead, Trapstars have come out flat to start the season. Defensively, much needed turnovers on downs have kept opposing offenses out of the end zone and given QB Vincent Richard some good field position, but it simply hasn’t turned into scores on a consistent basis as Trapstars are averaging a mere 20 points per game. The addition of FPF newcomer Simon Trottier has helped, but it just hasn’t been enough. With games against Tomahawk Nightmare, Obamacare, Blackshirts and Sphinx still to come, I think Trapstars will end up stuck in neutral for yet another season. 

Grade: D+

Key Players: Xavier Plante, Laurent St-Onge, Simon Trottier

Prediction: 3-6-1

 

Fat And The Furious (1-4): I can’t say I’m all that surprised by their abysmal record to start the season. They came out strong with a Week 1 win, but have fallen flat on their face since then, culminating in their recent 57-6 drubbing at the hands of Flagrant Fouls – although granted QB Bobby Sepentgis wasn’t there. When he has been present, Sepentgis has shown some signs of improvement over his inaugural season this past spring, but not enough to make up for an apparent lack of talent on the team after receivers Christopher Williams and Shaquille D’Aguair. Unfortunately, I don’t see things suddenly getting better before season’s end for a team that seems overmatched for the division.  

Grade: C 

Key Players: Bobby Septengis, Christpher Williams, Shaquille D’Aguair 

Prediction: 1-9

 

Division 5B

Conference A East

Junkyard Dogs (5-0): I was only half right in predicting that Yavar Ashrafi and Joseph Sifakis would feature heavily in the team’s plans this season, but I’m going to toot my own horn regardless. While a leg injury has slowed down Ashrafi to start the season, relative FPF newcomer Joseph Sifakis has made a strong case for himself for two-way player of the first half of the season. Sifakis has been unstoppable in the long-bomb department with seven TDs on nine catches for nearly 230 yards, while he’s tied for second in sacks on the season with eight. The emergence of FPF rookie Hugo Allamanno hasn’t hurt, either. And add to that a QB whose current stat-line is highlighted by 27 TDs and zero INTs through midseason, and it’s easy to see that everything has been going Junkyard Dogs’ way this year. There’s no reason why that should stop being the case in the second half of the season. 

Grade: A

Key Players: Jason Rossie, Joseph Sifakis, Hugo Allamanno

Prediction: 10-0

 

Flying Weasels (5-0): I swear, it’s gotta be the name change. What else can explain Flying Weasels’ dominance this season after years of futility under the FOTC moniker? Oh, the ridiculously great play of QB Jonathan Lemieux? Yeah, I guess that’s a pretty good theory. Lemieux has exploded for over 1000 yards and 26 TD through the air in the first five games of the year, more than I’ll probably throw for over the course of the entire season. Granted, it hasn’t all been Lemieux all the time, with wideout Alexandre Girard bailing him out with some great catches on more than a few occasions. It’s usually fair to question whether undefeated teams are for real at this point in the season, but considering they’ve already taken down three teams currently with winning records, it’s safe to foresee these Weasels flying deep into the postseason.   

Grade: A+

Key Players: Jonathan Lemieux, Alexandre Girard, David Faucher  

Prediction: 10-0

 

Les Pitriotes (4-1): I’m not gonna lie, my expectations were pretty low when I saw this roster in preseason. A couple of former Coyotes joining forces with a bunch of rookies? No way they have so much as a winning record by midseason. But I couldn’t have been more wrong. Rookie QB Eli Saleh has been as dangerous on the ground as he has been through the air, absolutely abusing opposing rushers to buy time and hit his receivers downfield when he wasn’t blazing down the sideline. But for a team with this many rookies to be successful, it usually requires another rookie or two to emerge as a star, and Les Pitriotes seem to have that guy in receiver Yossi Saleh. Saleh-to-Saleh has produced a solid 253 yards receiving and five touchdowns on the season, heading an offensive attack that has received solid contributions from just about everyone on the roster. They’ve already taken down one early season favorite in Jaguars; I look forward to see how they match up against the likes of Small Giants, I Rep That West and Junkyard Dogs – all may be potential playoff previews.

Grade: A

Key Players: Yossi Saleh, Eli Saleh, Andrew Langburt  

Prediction: 7-3

 

I Rep That West (3-2): Five games into the season and I Rep That West have already matched their win total from spring. Now, things didn’t exactly get off to such a great start this season, with the defense giving up a whopping 87 points in their two losses. But they have since settled in, shutting down two top QBs in Jimmy-Lee Janvier and Ian Einheiber in back-to-back weeks. A big part of the team’s success has been the play of QB Nicolas Schaefer, who has gotten the ball out quicker and more accurately than last year. Expectations are high for these boys moving forward.  

Grade: B+

Key Players: Nicolas Schaefer, Thomas Coutu, Christophe Lapointe  

Prediction: 6-4

 

Jaguars (2-3): Man, I can’t remember the last time a team has gone from hero to zero this quickly. Jaguars were rolling on all cylinders on both sides of the ball to start the season, but an offense that has scored progressively fewer points in every game, from 41 in Week 1 to a paltry 13 this past Sunday, does not bode well for this team. It seems QB Jimmy-Lee Janvier has been trying to do too much himself rather than take what the defense gives him and let his receivers do the rest. Still, their speed and size hasn’t suddenly disappeared, and we’ve already seen what happens when they play their best. I’m still a believer.

Grade: C

Key Players: Antoine Hall, Aurel Desrosiers, Darryl Dorcely   

Prediction: 5-5

 

The Pack (1-4): For the first two weeks of play, it seemed as though The Pack would be able to manage without Division 1 beast Bobby Mikelberg. Then reality set it: you simply can’t replace talent like that. The trio of Andrew April, Brandon Berkovits and Ryan Lefcort has stepped up admirably in his absence. But sometimes the biggest contribution of a star receiver comes in the form of drawing attention in his direction to open stuff up for everyone else, and that’s been sorely lacking this season. And that’s without even mentioning how big a role Mikelberg played on The Pack’s defense last year, which is why their 35.6 points per game allowed through five games is far from a big surprise. A tough remaining schedule won’t do them any favors.     

Grade: C-

Key Players: Daniel Krebs, Andrew April, Ryan Lefcort 

Prediction: 1-9

 

Conference A West

St. Lunatics (4-1): A sure-fire way to hit the ground running with a new QB leading your team? Pair him with receivers he’s already built a rapport with. That’s exactly what this higher division core did when they brought on not just QB Michael Sanchez, but his n.W.o. teammates Mike Franzese and Pietro Mignacca along with him, and St. Lunatics are reaping the benefits. Their offense hasn’t been the flashiest, but a QB that keeps mistakes to a minimum is never a bad thing when you have one of the most punishing secondaries in your division. Is it a recipe that will lead them to postseason success? Only time will tell.

Grade: A 

Key Players: Mike Franzese, Pietro Mignacca, Eddy Lee  

Prediction: 7-3

 

Takeover (4-1): When it comes to the big surprise that has been Takeover, I comfort myself by believing that not even they themselves saw this much success coming so soon. This just seems to be one of those cases where a team randomly elevates its play. None has done so on the level of QB Ian Einheiber, who in just five games has thrown more TDs than he did all last year. Right behind him is receiver Alessandro Arciero, who equally has already caught more touchdowns than he did already. Add to that a defense that has made big stops when counted upon to do so, and you have yourself one of the best teams in 5B. They may be coming off their first loss on the year, but one look at their remaining schedule and it’s tough to see them losing another one before the playoffs.

Grade: A

Key Players: Ian Einheiber, Alessandro Arciero, Mathieu Domon

Prediction: 9-1

 

DG Goons (2-3): It’s been a swift fall from grace for DG Goons, going from 6-2-2 last winter, to 3-7 in spring, and finally starting off this year 2-3. The biggest issue has been an absolutely sluggish offense as the loss of Rich Humes this season has hit the team hard. The trio of James Jaskolski, Derrick Fontana and Franck Ngandui have been good, but not great so far. Meanwhile, it seems like QB Christopher Pendenza has hit a wall in recent weeks, having to depend more heavily on his legs as he’s been unable to get the ball moving consistently through the air. Unfortunately, the road ahead doesn’t get much easier with three of their remaining opponents currently holding winning records and the other two teams being Ghosts and Jaguars. 

Grade: D+

Key Players: Franck Ngandui, Derrick Fontana, Christopher Pendenza  

Prediction: 2-8

  

Creamsicles (2-3): Though Creamsicles were able to close out the first half of the season on a high note, it’s been mostly disappointment to start the season. The return of dependable snapper Anthony Da Silva this season has helped in the chain-moving department, but aside from speedster Jordan Allard it doesn’t seem as though QB Anthony Pitoscia has much faith in the rest of his receiving corps. The result up to this point has been an offense that has averaged under 18 points a game behind a gameplan that has seemingly consisted of targeting Da Silva underneath two plays in a row and then chuck a prayer up to Allard down the sideline. And yet, despite their issues, Creamsicles remain right in the thick of the playoff race for the last few spots. They have a chance to clinch one of them by season’s end, but remaining games against Takeover, Small Giants and Les Pitroites might stand in the way. 

Grade: C 

Key Players: Anthony Da Silva, Jordan Allard, Brinsley Smith

Prediction: 3-7

 

Ghosts (2-3): Talk about a letdown. I think it’s pretty obvious I had Ghosts among my favorites to win the 5A ‘ship this season, and they sure looked the part in their Week 1 takedown of the Guerriers. But it’s been mostly downhill since then, as Gabriel Wiseman has been not much more than average at quarterback since throwing for over 260 yards and tossing 7 TDs five weeks ago. Wiseman’s dink and dunk style has made it difficult for the team to come back from large deficits as a result of a secondary that has given up far too many big plays for a defense of this caliber. If the defense is able to keep the big chunks of yards allowed to a minimum from here on out, I think Ghosts should be fine.

Grade: D 

Key Players: Gabriel Wiseman, Zach Zwirn, Jeremy Carrier   

Prediction: 6-4

 

Siths (0-5): Take a first-year QB, a mostly rookie receiving corps, and a mostly rookie defense and this is what you’re likely to get. For four games in a row, the Siths defense has looked lost if not non-existent, while Steph Chartrand has had difficulty getting comfortable at quarterback. I must say it comes as a surprise given the experience and talent Chartrand and Gino Di Fazio bring to this team, but it seems that’s largely outweighed by the lack of experience and talent from the rest of the roster. Still, not all hope is lost. Siths put up an excellent offensive showing against a tough Junkyard Dogs team, before the Siths D made St. Lunatics fight for every yard this past week. If Siths start playing up to their potential on both sides of the ball in the same game, the wins will follow. But that’s a big if.  

Grade: C-

Key Players: Stephane Chartrand, Mosha Moreau-Côté, Tyler Grondin

Prediction: 1-9

 

Conference B East

Sunshine Island (5-0): Ladies and gentlemen, I present to you the annual entirely-new-FPF-team-that-goes-5-0-to-start-the-season. Every week has been a fight down to the wire, and yet every week they’ve managed to come out on top. Sunshine Island have proven to be one of the most resilient teams in 5B up to this point, with three of their five wins coming via second half comebacks. QB Matthew Cinquino looks dead set on breaking the record for most rushing attempts in a single season, and I think he would gladly brush off any talk of him not being a “real QB” if it leads him and his team to a solid record and a shot at a championship by season’s end. Their toughest matchups are yet to come, but I think they’ll hold their own for the most part. 

Grade: A+

Key Players: Matthew Cinquino, Alex Fulford, Johnny Lampasona  

Prediction: 8-2

 

Rednecks (4-1): Rednecks haven’t exactly beaten the cream of the crop just yet, but a shutout of Blue Devils and a tight win over Green Lantern Corps are certainly notable feats. So is the fact they’ve allowed a division low 56 points through five weeks. I had a feeling Rednecks would be good, but not this good. A good mix of pass and run on offense has kept opposing defenses on their toes and made it easier for QB Darick Forgues to find his receivers downfield. I’m not sure I would celebrate too much just yet, however; Rednecks still have some big tests ahead of them to close out the season.

Grade: B+

Key Players: Nicolas-Emmanuel Pierre, Louis Beauchamp, Daniel-Christopher Arcudi

Prediction: 7-3

 

Blue Devils (3-2): Expectations are never high for a team coming off an 0-10 season, so the fact Blue Devils have a winning record at this point is an accomplishment in itself. So is the fact QB Pat Riot has been looking like the Pat Riot of old with 20 TDs to just 2 INTs up to this point. Balance has been a theme for the Blue Devils thus far, with him being comfortable enough to spread the ball around rather evenly among his receivers, while defensively seven different players have an interception to their name. Blue Devils may not have a name on their roster that jumps out at you, but what they do have is an overall solid team when it plays up to its potential. 

Grade: B+

Key Players: Pat Riot, Maxime Chateauneuf, Gregory Lachance   

Prediction: 6-4

  

Fuzzy-Kittens (2-3): I’m sure QB Jordan Robert Chartrand was thinking championship when he was able to bring the speedy Simon Bosquet Beaudoin to the team, but it seems he forgot to try to improve one factor that’s key to winning games: defense. Indeed, Fuzzy-Kittens have allowed a whopping 34 points per game this season, something that makes it very hard to win when your offense is built around dinking and dunking your way upfield. There’s still a solid chance they turn things around, but it’s evident Fuzzy-Kittens are far from the championship front-runners at this point. 

Grade: D

Key Players: Simon Bosquet Beaudoin, Gabriel Poisson, Jordan Robert Chartrand  

Prediction: 4-6

  

Been There Done That (1-4): Three different QBs have started at least one game five weeks into the season. Interestingly enough, it’s not Sebastien Tardif, who started the season at the position, or even Maxime Fournier, who lead the team to its only win thus far who should keep the reigns moving forward. Rather, any hope of turning their season around lies in the hands of Kevin Marion, who led BTDT to their best showing in a heart-breaking 39-37 loss to Fuzzy-Kittens two weeks ago. Some winnable games left on their schedule should make them contenders to take the 8th and final seed, but that doesn’t mean I expect them to do much with it if they do clinch the spot barring a major turnaround on offense.   

Grade: C-

Key Players: Kevin Marion, Martin Normandeau, Sabes Bouchard

Prediction: 3-7

  

Weapon X (1-4): In preseason, the big question surrounding what is essentially TOPSZN lite was who they would go with at QB this season and what he could bring to the table. Well we found out in Week 1, and five weeks later the answer to the second part of the question is: not much. Ryan Browne has been average at best in his first season as a full-time signal-caller, as he has largely struggled to throw consistently accurate passes and keep the mistakes to a minimum. A big roster, among which numerous FPF rookies are featured, is bound to make it difficult for any QB to develop a rapport with the receiving corps. Things haven’t been that much better defensively despite the numerous players currently playing on TOPSZN in 4A. It’s simply not looking good for Weapon X this season.

Grade: C-

Key Players: Kevin Donnet, Hasari Worrell, Andel Thomas-Gordon

Prediction: 2-8

 

Conference B West

Small Giants (4-1): It’s not often that a team makes the jump to a higher division with essentially the same roster and absolutely crushes the competition, but that’s been the story of Small Giants at midseason. They’ve hit the 40-point mark offensively in all four of their wins – most recently against top contenders Les Guerriers de L’espace, I might add – as QB Justin Lerner has been on fire week in and week out. And that’s without even mentioning the defense, which has seemingly enforced a no fly zone behind the ridiculous six picks by John Madimenos. They’re going to coast to the postseason, and they know it. 

Grade: A 

Key Players: Justin Lerner, John Madimenos, Daron Migdesyan/Emmanuel Sarikakis  

Prediction: 9-1

 

Les Guerriers de L’espace (3-2): The hype was real four weeks into the season, but it’s simmered down quite a bit following their stunning 49-31 loss to Small Giants this past week. QB Alex Rivet is still a guaranteed finalist for QB of the Season, while receivers Tomas Concilio and Antoine Baril are certain to see their ratings shoot up for next year. While they could certainly use more consistent play defensively, I still think they belong atop my list of favorites to hoist the 5B championship trophy in April.   

Grade: A

Key Players: Alex Rivet, Antoine Baril, Tomas Concilio  

Prediction: 8-2

 

Green Lantern Corps (2-3): Kudos to GLC for making moves this offseason and bringing in a fresh face at QB to allow Mendy Cardichon to do what he does best: burn defenses. The unfortunate downside of making such a move is the growing pains that are sure to come with a first-time QB, and Emile Piche has seen his fair share thus far with four multi-interception games at the midway point of the season. GLC’s stingy defense has done its part to keep the team in the game week in and week out. But a good D can only take you so far in FPF – at some point, you gotta put up points. This is where you wonder how different things would be if Lubin were still on the team…  

Grade: D+

Key Players: Mendy Cardichon, Mendy Cardichon, Mendy Cardichon 

Prediction: 4-6

  

Les Huards (1-4): They’ve scored in five games what some teams have scored in one. Their starting QB essentially retired from the position two and half weeks into the season due to ineptitude. They will forever be the team that lost 70-0 in an FPF game. Honestly, it’s tough not to feel bad for Les Huards at this point. Now, on the bright side, it seems they’ve finally found their savior at QB in Gabriel Béland-Lapointe. On the not-so-bright side, they still have to play Junkyard Dogs, Green Lantern Corps, and Small Giants before it’s all said and done. Ouch.

Grade: D+

Key Players: Gabriel Béland-Lapointe, Philippe Tremblay, Simon Viens 

Prediction: 1-9

 

GENIE (0-5): Case no. 2,568 of real football players struggling to find success on the FPF field. This group of former QJFL players has shown flashes, particularly against Sunshine Island in Week 2 and most recently versus Blue Devils. But when things go bad, they go really bad, in particular for QB Vincent Guillette (3 passing TDs to 10 INTs in lopsided losses to Green Lantern Corps and Les Guerriers de L’espace). Sometimes you need to take a step back to take two steps forward, and I think keeping things easy and simple on offense is the way to go if GENIE have any hope of turning things around.   

Grade: D 

Key Players: Vincent Guillette, Gabriel Barbeau, Amos Junior Louis 

Prediction: 2-8

 

Bruins (0-5): It’s been said numerous times on the podcast and it’s all I really have to say at this point: Bruins are in the wrong division. With a roster composed entirely of new players, you would figure there would be growing pains. But it’s evident that, offensively at least, QB Nelson Pereira and company have yet to figure out what works in FPF. The worst part is that it’s not like Bruins have been all that bad – they just haven’t been particularly good. Their playoff hopes are virtually non-existent at this point, but some favorable matchups against The Pack and GENIE leave hope for at least a one or two-win season, and something to build on for next year. 

Grade: C- 

Key Players: Antoine Huynh, Jerry Waskiw, Bryan Pereira

Prediction: 1-9

 

FPF Fantasy Showdown: 5A 

Last week…

QB: Brad Evans (Pardon My Swag) did not play; Jordan Bellemare (Watch Me Whip) gets the automatic win. 

WR: Olivier Savage (Tomahawk Nightmare): did not play; Ridwan Abdur (Dope Boys) gets the automatic win.

D: Voo-Zoo: 20 tackles, 3 sacks, 1 INT, 2 PD, 29 points allowed = 20 points. Team Rocket: 4 tackles, 1 sack, 2 INTs, 2 PD, 1 TD, 12 points allowed = 22 points.

 

Another 1-2 week brings me to 8-7 on the season.

 

This week: 

QB: Alexis Labonté (Sticky Hands) vs. Eric Lalonde (Dope Boys): Labonté hasn’t hit the century mark through the air since Week 1. Lalonde on the other hand looks back to his usual self after a solid performance against a strong defense this past week.

WR: Jordan Mcinnis (Obamacare) vs. Eddy Martinez (Gators): This is kind of a gamble, seeing as Andrew Hopkins, Kyle McGuigan and Mike Ambrosino could all easily be the leading receiver for Obamacare this week. But Mcinnis has been the most consistent of the four, so that’s who I’m going with. 

D: Les Verges Folles vs. Top Sauce: QB Vince Nardone was on his game last week which means he should be off it this week, right?  

 

FPF Fantasy Showdown: 5B

Last week… 

QB: Jimmy-Lee Janvier (Jaguars): 133 yards passing, 2 TDs, 2 INTs, 3 sacks = 12 points. Eli Saleh (Les Pitriotes): 124 yards passing, 27 yards rushing, 2 TDs, 1 INT, 1 sack = 20 points.

WR: Christophe Vezina (I Rep That West): did not play; Alessandro Arciero (Takeover) gets the automatic win. 

D: Les Huards: 19 tackles, 3 sacks, 10 PDs, 12 points allowed = 25 points Bruins: 7 tackles, 1 sack, 1 INT, 19 points allowed = 19 points.

 

2-1 on the week puts me at 7-8 on the season.

 

This week:

QB: Daniel Krebs (The Pack) vs. Nelson Pereira (Bruins): This one looks like a gimme, which means don’t be surprised if Pereira pulls out the upset. 

WR: Simon Bosquet Beaudoin (Fuzzy-Kittens) vs. Zach Zwirn (Ghosts): This is a complete toss-up. I’m unsure whether Zach Zwirn will dominate a weak Fuzzy-Kittens secondary, or the top division talent of SBB will dominate a decent Ghosts D. I feel like Ghosts QB Gab Wiseman will be able to distribute the ball among his receiving corps more easily than Fuzzy-Kittens’ Jordan-Robert Chartrand, however, hence why I give SBB the nod. 

D: GENIE vs. I Rep That West: I Rep That West have been on a roll defensively and I think that continues this week against a struggling GENIE squad.

 

Predictions: 5A

I went an absolutely atrocious 2-9 in 5A and 4-8 in 5B this week as the upsets I predicted didn’t happen, whereas the locks I expected ended up getting upset. That puts me at 63-52 on the season, while Nic Belleau jumps to 64-51 (not 65-50 as he incorrectly calculated; remind me not to send my future children to whatever elementary school he attended) on the season after going 4-8 in 5A and 8-3 in 5B this week. I ain’t even mad; giving Belleau the season lead for the first time this season will make it that much sweeter when I regain it for good after this week.  

Obamacare vs. Gators 

Flagrant Fouls vs. Space Pirates

Team Rocket vs. Watch Me Whip 

Voo-Zoo vs. Pardon My Swag

Les Albatros vs. Supply and Command (N/A)

BMS Goats vs. Hot Boys Hotline

Get On Deck vs. X-Men

Woofpack vs. Fat And The Furious 

Sticky Hands vs. Dope Boys

Sphinx vs. Blackshirts

Les Verges Folles vs. Top Sauce

Trapstars vs. Tomahawk Nightmare

 

Predictions: 5B 

Les Huards vs. Junkyard Dogs

Green Lantern Corps vs. Flying Weasels

Weapon X vs. Siths

Sunshine Island vs. St. Lunatics

Been There Done That vs. Creamsicles

Fuzzy-Kittens vs. Ghosts

GENIE vs. I Rep That West

DG Goons vs. Rednecks

Blue Devils vs. Takeover 

Les Guerriers de L’espace vs. Jaguars

Small Giants vs. Les Pitriotes 

Bruins vs. The Pack

 

***

Finally, time to catch a few Zs. You can expect my usual style of articles next week. Until then, be sure to check out this week’s podcast at www.youtube.com/flagplus. See you at the fields!