The Goal Line Stand (Div D) – Week 7

After my game this past Sunday evening, I experienced considerable pain in my groin while trying to ease myself into a swan-shaped pedal boat. I thought to myself, “there are definitely no other Division D players who are feeling what I’m feeling right now.” But I was wrong.

 

There are two specific teams who are experiencing significant growing pains as we speak. Both The Incredibles and the Wildkittens have made permanent changes at QB. Probably the most important and pressure-packed position in a FlagPlus Football team, a team’s QB is like their heart. If he’s consistent and strong, the team will most likely do well. If he struggles and is off rhythm, the team will most likely need a triple bypass. 

 

These two Conference A teams have a lot in common despite being on opposite ends of the standings. Hai Minh Luong takes over from Matthieu Sola for the Wildkittens and Andrew Funamoto takes over from Greg Stern for The Incredibles. Combined, these two new QBs are 0-3 in their first 3 games as starters. However, they are not new to the position.

 

Luong was an all-star last year as a starter for the J’s and Funamoto has spent 3 full seasons quarterbacking for the Monstars. So how will these two players deal with their new responsibilities? Unfortunately, I don’t see good things on the horizon for either.

 

The Wildkittens will play the Flying Comics, The Incredibles, and the Dragons. Whereas The Incredibles will play the Dragons, the Wildkittens, and Le Zoo. Luong inherits a team in last whose hole may be too deep to dig out of. Funamoto is equally unlucky, inheriting a team in first. While Luong will struggle to get his team on track, Funamoto will have to deal with the pressure of taking a team (who many expected to represent Conference A in the finals) deep into the playoffs. And with 3 different teams breathing down the Incredibles’ neck, plenty of eyes will be fixed squarely on the team in red.   

 

Weekly Recap

 

Carr Crazy in Viking Victory

Graeme Carr carried the load this week for the Vikings and won the game on offense. Carr went 14/22 for 193 yards and 5 TDs. He only threw 1 INT to Zoo safety Francois Deslauriers (but, honestly, who doesn’t?). Hitting 5 different receivers for passes and 3 different ones for TDs this week, Carr is slowly making himself into a household name. Like Peterson, Masciotra, Lubin, or Dostoevsky. Le Zoo is happy to have Deslauriers back in the line-up now for two straight weeks. He takes pressure off QB Emile Carey and his re-addition immediately makes this team better. Le Zoo will face UFF next week, but in a much less clear matchup, the Vikings take on the Tyrants. Both these teams are coming off wins. Arguably, the Tyrants have been taking on tougher opponents as of late. Expect this fact to help them out in week 8.   

 

Tyrants Tame Dragons

For the first time this year, Simon Dagenais threw for more INTs than TDs. This, combined with John Kaliotzakis’ best TD/INT ratio of the season, resulted in a blowout win for the Tyrants. Completing 5 of his 17 completions to shifty receiver Andre Frederick, Kaliotzakis’ QB rating was his second best all season. Despite this, I’d argue it was his best game nonetheless. Although throwing for 48 less yards than in week 5, not giving up a sack is worth the trade. I’m a fan of offenses who can trudge down the field in a systematic and methodical way. Using snapper Karl Belafi effectively seems to be a key for the Tyrants offense. Belafi caught 5 passes – 2 of which were TDs – for an average of 3 yards per catch. The Tyrants face a good Viking team next week where we’ll learn if they’re for real or if they’re just hot. The Dragons, on the other hand, take on a Greg Stern-less Incredibles team. That game might say more about The Incredibles than about the Dragons’ ability to rebound. 

 

UFF Beat Wildkittens in Basement Brawl

This game was heavily laden with playoff implications. Both teams vying for the 8th and final spot in Conference A showed up with something to prove and spectators were treated to a show. I was in contact with Wildkitten players G.M. Kolethras and Adrien Dusautois before the game and both were extremely solemn and stern (the emotion, not Greg) in their responses. They understood that this game could have possibly meant a date with the first seed in the conference come playoff time. With the game knotted near the end, Viktor Amédé-Soltendieck snagged one of Luong’s long (lol) passes out of the air and gave his UFF a chance to score. After UFF had eventually transformed the turnover into a TD, the Wildkittens were simply not left with enough time to come back. The Wildkittens may have to hope for an upset – or two – if they’re going to make the playoffs now.      

 

By The Numbers

 

William W. Watt warned not to put your faith into what statistics say until you carefully consider what they do not say. I warn you not to put your faith into anyone whose name is alliteration.  

 

2: Number of teams scoring a pick-6. Maximum Carnage and Chili con Carne FFC.

7: Number of points against allowed by Boozers and Tyrants. Fewest in week 7.

204: Number of total offensive yards for Clockwork. Most in week 7 and only team to crack 200. Lockdown and Vikings were close with 193.

12: Number of PDs for the Chili con Carne defence (seriously?). Best in week 7.

36: Number of attempts by Flying Comics’ Frank Grenier and Limetime’s Patrick Manning. Most in week 7.

7: Number of TDs thrown by Boozers QB Bruno-Pierre Pelletier. Most in week 7. Followed closely with 6 by Lockdown’s Gianfranco Ranaudo and Clockwork’s Marco Masciotra.

33.33: Percent of dropbacks ending in a TD for Maximum Carnage. Most in week 7.

8.7: Percent of dropbacks resulting in a sack against for Chili con Carne FFC. Worst in week 7.

  

Power-Rankings

 

Here are the power-rankings after week 7:

 

1.      Clockwork (7-0) – That’s it, I’m calling it. Undefeated season awaits.

2.      Boozers (5-2) – They’re back on track and look threatening.

3.      Maximum Carnage (5-2) – Put up big points after a loss to Les Affreux.

4.      The Incredibles (5-2) – Incredible fans hope this isn’t the beginning of a slippery slope.

5.      Lockdown (5-2) – A 3-game win streak has them movin’ on up.

6.      Dragons (5-2) – Held to only 7 points against the Tyrants this week. They drop.

7.      Tyrants (4-3) – Kaliotzakis launches 5 TDs as his team launches into 7th.

8.      Chili con Carne FFC (4-3) – Shock the league with win over The Incredibles.

9.   Vikings (5-2) – Lose ground to Tyrants and Chili despite a better record.

10.  Les Affreux (4-2-1) – Two 1-point victories in two weeks is giving Affreux fans ulcers.

 

The top 10 jostle for position but remain the same. Both Le Zoo and Limetime drop close games as UFF takes possession of the 8th and final playoff spot in Conference A. The top 4 teams in Conference A have 5-2 records and are only separated by a 24-point differential. Conference B’s picture is a little clearer with the only undefeated team in the league thus far and Les Affreux’s tie is keeping them just inches in front of Chili con Carne FFC. In the power-rankings as in the playoff pictures, teams are starting to settle in.

 

Predictions

 

I can begin reading horoscopes, studying tea leaves, shuffling tarot cards, and gazing into crystal balls. Or I can use all the facts at my disposal and make educated predictions based on trends and probability. Either way, it’s a complete waste of time in Division D. Upsets excite everyone and Division D is treated to one or two every week. I went 6-2 again this week bringing my combined record to 23-8-1.

 

The Incredibles vs. Dragons: The “credible” has been taken out of “incredible” with the loss of Stern. Dragons.  

Clockwork vs. Average Joes: The Average Joes might have to hope for this game to be rained-out.  

Replacements vs. Les Affreux: Les Affreux will continue their winning streak.

Flying Comics vs. Wildkittens: Flying Comics showed their ability to score points this week vs. Lockdown.

Le Zoo vs. UFF: Finally I get to pick for Le Zoo. Woo!

Chili con Carne FFC vs. Limetime: After beating The Incredibles, who can’t Chili con Carne beat?

Vikings vs. Tyrants: Most difficult game to predict this week. I’m going with Graeme Carr and his crew.

Punch Panda vs. Boozers: Let’s see what Punch Panda can take away from their game against Maximum Carnage as they face a similar opponent in Boozers. I’m predicting a tighter margin but a similar result.   

 

And if you like underdog stories, the only winless team in the league might make the playoffs. Despite being 0-7, Punch Panda could (with a little help and luck) slip their way into 8th spot in Conference B. How? A quick glance at the standings has the Replacements just ahead of them, and the current owners of 8th.  These two teams will actually play each other in week 9, and if Punch Panda can surprise the gang in green the two teams will have identical records (all other things remaining equal) and Punch Panda will win the head-to-head tie-breaker. Easier said than done, however. The Replacements have just added former Monstar Akeem Hoyte-Charles who will not, unfortunately, qualify to make the playoffs if the football gods decide it to be so.

 

So if you do like underdogs, you’ll definitely like me. E-mail me at [email protected]. No sales clerk ever thinks I can fit into the youth-sized football cleats.  Who’s laughing now…