Peeze’s Playbook (Div E) – Season Preview

Today is Mother’s Day. It is the day that we honour our mother, our caregivers and mothers of our children. It is truly a special day where we give back to those who took care of us in our youth. Let’s take a moment to reflect on this before I do that thing where I awkwardly tie this all back into Flag Plus Football.

Mother’s Day also gives us one last chance to see loved ones before we throw ourselves into the depths of the FPF season. I was given the honour of covering the introductory division this season and I will do my best to inform, instigate, entertain and help buld and maintain this incredible community.

What always amazes me in the lower divisions is the enthusiasm for the game. This is best represented in the wicked team names and potential for countless headlines. The Souless Gingers, Hangar Crossfit Hang 40, Old Guns a’ Blazing; and this is just to name a few (I don’t want to eat into my material for the season after all). Either way this promises to be an engaging season and I can’t wait to see how it all turns out because before we know it, the season will be over and the Spring 2014 champions will be posing for a picture at centre field hoisting the trophy high above their collective heads.

Once again, our media coverage for FPF’s most exciting division is extensive. In addition to my article, players of this division can expect a weekly podcast as Terry Tam and I will be hosting Flag Plus Bromance as the official aural companion to the written media. The podcast is available by subscribing via iTunes or by visiting: http://fpf.podomatic.com/. You can also watch live on www.theunclehood.com. Stay tuned for the schedule as soon as it becomes available!

Dramatis Personae

Please allow me a moment or two to present the opening credits to you. The following is a list of the people who will act as your guides this season.

Peeze- For those new to the league/division, I am Peeze. I got my start in this league as the Captain of one of, ok fine, the worst team in FPF history. Punch Panda went 0-9-1 and looked horrible in the process. Since that time I have become better known as the snapper/captain for Checkmate and Division C’s Moose. That being said, if real were to recognize real, I would admit that I am more well known as an FPF analyst, podcast host, author to many lengthily articles and connoisseur of fine soups and chowder. This season I have decided to challenge myself by throwing my hat into the ring and undertaking the task of playing quarterback for Killuminati.

This is my fourth season covering division the league and to be honest, I love it. I love working with the new up and coming teams in the lower divisions because it is always unpredictable and exciting.

Terry Tam- This will be my third season co-hosting with Terry and let me tell you, the past seasons have been chaotic, hectic, insane and a little troublesome. Well folks, we promise you that and way more (or less if you share the perspective of the suits at FPF). We promise that this will be the most engaging, entertaining season of Flag Plus Bromance ever!

If you see Terry Tam at the field, ask him to speak Gaelic, it’s quite impressive. Please send any pieces of Celtic lore to him @TerryTamFPF.

GM Koletheras- GM Koletheras is the most conniving, untrustworthy, back-stabiest (real word, don’t look it up) team captain in FPF history. When I see him I always tell him that he has some big units of confidence for showing his face at the fields after what he’s done. So overall he’s a really good guy (we have a Han Solo/Lando Calrissian type relationship). More than that, he’s an excellent snapper and as far as I know he will be sharing his talents with Alcohol of Fame and division C’s Old Farts. He is a reputed team builder and the Encarta of Flag Plus Football (if you don’t know what that means check Wikipedia, it’ll be ironic).

The Eagle at Master Control- there are days where I really feel bad for him. As the producer of all of the Podcasts the Eagle is an integral part of our operation and a necessary annoyance. Aside from getting the podcasts organized and keeping them relevant he has to deal with the ridiculous FPF media members who are hell bent on giving him many sleepless nights. He is also team captain for Division C’s Lockdown and joins GM Koletheras on Alcohol of Fame.

The Unclehood Studios- For the second season in a row, The Unclehood will be the home of FPF Radio. Tune in for our weekly podcasts as they are sure to thrill, amaze and inspire. In the off-chance that my previous statement was somewhat exaggerated, note that we may talk about, you, your team or any other random and bizarre topics in any given week. The only way to be sure is by tuning in!

Uncle Dirty- Uncle Dirty is Clint Eastwood, Albert Einstein and Megatron all packed into one. He is the absolute badass. Charged with the impossible task of making us know what we are talking about he is the technical producer who sets up our shows and makes us look as professional as we do. Remember that you can follow him @Born_4_Speed and be sure to tune into his weekly podcast by the same name for all your racing needs.

A Hitchhiker’s Guide to My Segments

Recap: Put simply, this is the segment where I will go over some of the games from the previous day. It’s like Sports Centre but without the benefit of replay or charismatic anchors. I will try as much as possible to cover as many teams as possible as well as focus on key games as they occur. Those who know me can attest to the fact that I try to watch as many games as possible and I prefer to write about what I’ve seen firsthand. However, as it isn’t physically possible to make it to every game, feel free to let me know what happened in your matchup.

5 plays Till Half Time-. Each week The Eagle at Master Control will send me five quick fire questions and I will do my best to answer them with the least amount of forethought possible. Given that I’m not partial to thinking, this should be fun.

Reflections, Rants and Ravings: This is a returning segment from past seasons. This where I give shout outs, bestow call-outs and go off on whatever tangent seems partially relevant on any given week. Some of it is related to FPF, some is related to football and some may be particularly awkward icebreakers I test with my audience before trying them on particularly attractive females with the pleasure of sitting next to me through an entire flight. At times I may seem to lose focus, but trust me it all ties together in the end, and sometimes, it doesn’t.

Fantasy Update- Every season the media team puts together their fantasy teams as we compete and slug it out using real life FPF players as our pawns…as our pawns..as our pawns. Yup, there really is no other way to say that where I sound less like a jerk.

Power Rankings: This is where I take a look at the division on the and decide which group of thugs would be king of the mountain. I then publish my findings in a top-eight format. I’m often wrong about this so in the end it truly means nothing. Either way I invite you to let me know why you think your team should be considered,

Hung-over Visions of The World of Tomorrow- This is my predictions section. Read below for changes.

*all of these segments are subject to change as I often don’t remember what I did the previous week or what I had for breakfast. There are also ‘seasonal segments’ that come around in the times of the season where they seem more appropriate (playoff brackets, mid-season breakdowns, all-star nominee’s, the Peeze Awards, etc.) Also, if you have ideas regarding what you would like to see in my article please feel free to contact me.

Preseason Power Rankings

Pre-season power rankings are awesome. I have no information to go by so I base all my decisions on the coolness of your name, what I imagine your jersey will look like and a whole lot of personal bias. I’ve decided to make my life a little more difficult and go with a top 8 rather than a traditional top 10. So let’s see who will represent Ice Man week one and which Mavericks will try to move in to Top Gun position.

Cream Team: Off the bat this looks like the best, well rounded roster. Jared Humphrey is a quarterback that learned a lot as the season went on in his debut with Division 5’s Hit Squad. He improved by leaps and bounds as the season went on and he won a shootout battle against the then undefeated Centurions. He has surrounded himself with some very talented receivers. Matt Monnat was in the discussion for receiver of the year in division 5 this past season, and Alex Grace is a veteran receiver who has dealt damage in the past. The core of this team seems to be that of division 5’s Hit Squad (from this past winter season).
The Minge: The Minge lost the division 6 final on a controversial last play this past winter (not really, he was clearly out of bounds). Regardless of where you stand on the controversy they were within striking distance of doing unspeakable things to the inaugural Division 6 trophy. They have since merged with Run Levy Run and seem ready to take the next step. With both Matt Young and Jeff Rosenblatt on the roster, they have two capable qb’s who had stellar seasons this past winter. Key pieces are missing from this roster but I think overall, the merger will be successful.
The Pack- The Pack were the most prolific offense last season. Having scored a division leading 324 points, QB of the year Daniel Krebs had his boys looking like the favorite heading into the finals. However, after being injured in the playoffs, Krebs was just not as effective and they lost to the eventual champions: The Heismans. The Pack will be strong again this season. Krebs throws probably the nicest ball in the entire division, they had three receivers with 20+ catches, their offensive play calling is as intelligent as it gets and they get awesome brownie points for dropping the apostrophe in front of their name thus pushing me to reference them more frequently in articles. The addition of Defensive player of the year Alexandre Bohbot means that the Pack now have 2 award winners from last season so the apparent loss of Andrew April will not hurt them as much. I would like to see if they can be as dominant in what seems to be a more offensive Division E (in comparison to Div.6).
Wax on, Wax Off: Having played against them in the preseason, I can vouch for the fact that this team is a serious threat. Stormin’ Norman Bellmare has to be the front runner for qb of the year. He is smart, has a ton of experience in FPF, has probably the quickest release you’ll ever see and he has cool audibles (Fuego, Fuego). Danny D’Amour is a great athlete and will have a huge impact on either side of the ball. Justin Occhionero (otherwise known as The Black Eye) is a solid defender and Jordan Bellemare is so versatile he can be used anywhere on the field. They have an interesting combination of experienced, veteran players and fresh new faces. Also, they’ve made me want to watch the Karate Kid again. Billy Zabka plays an awesome protagonist in that movie.
Junk Yard Dogs- They were formerly the Golden Girls who now have their first winning season without James Floreani at quarterback. Jason Rossi has improved drastically as a quarterback and as this team continues to play together I assume they will continue to get stronger. Jason Kokolakis, Julien “Bob” Lefebvre and Scott Binns are a very solid core to build around and many defences may have trouble dealing with this three headed hydra. In ither case, I approve of the name change as it is particularly insulting to beat teams whilst being named after a show that starred Betty White.
Old Guns– There was a time where Rehan Sarwar was the most feared team Captain in FPF. His Kings teams were always impressive and his affiliation with the Mongoose franchise has helped him make his name. Trying to re-establish himself in this new, salary cap driven, Moneyball inspired FPF, Sarwar has put together a truly terrifying roster. Alex Gaudet is on this team and while he can’t quarterback (as he typically does with Mongoose) his athleticism, defensive ability and knowledge of the game is a true asset. My only issue here is that I do not how good Vince Pisano will be at quarterback. He has limited experience but as this is a strong roster that may help him improve quickly. If Pisano plays competently (and I believe he will), the Old Guns maybe climbing the ladder faster than anyone expects.
Beer and Td’s- Brad Evans has done a great job of putting together a team of established and underrated player. Brad Demers is a proven, reliable receiver and represents a very low cap hit. Such is the same with players like Scott Booth and defensive standouts such as Joey Watson. They are a good team of players that have higher division experience. Because they are used to what is most likely a much faster paced game, Beer and Td’s may appear to be playing in bullet time this season. Brad Evans is a solid quarterback with limited experience at the position. However, I would think 12 seasons under his belt he would have learned a thing or two.
Alcohol of Fame- Does this make them famous spirits? Alcohol of Fame intrigue me although there are reasons they don’t find themselves higher in this pre season ranking. Alex “The Eagle” D’Aquila is known among the lower divisions as being a solid defensive playcaller. He has paired up with the aptly named GM Koletheras who is known as an intuitive team builder who knows how to find talent and how to put them in the best possible positions on the field. What is curious here is outside of those two household names, no player has ever played in FPF before. This team will either be a stroke of genius or a terrible failure. Given who’s at the helm I think the former will be the case.

Teams that may surprise you

Killuminati- They are probably the team with the most collective experience in this division. Many of them have played for higher division teams and have some playoff experience. Mike Addona has the athleticism to take the division by surprise in much of the same way as he did when he appeared on the scene as a quarterback in division E last summer. Evan Ely Nolet is slated to play snapper on this team and in his previous season in such a role he had a very solid season. Defensively, Killuminati boasts players who have played in higher divisions and it will be the charge of David Della Rocca to manage the team and use his pieces wisely. In the end this seems like a very strong team but everything hinges on the success of their first time quarterback. If their offense is effective, Killuminati will be a frontrunner. If they cannot put up points this team may perform as poorly.

NWO- They had an interesting season this past winter. They finished 6-4, which was their first winning season. However, they also ended with a point differential of -30. Michael Sanchez had a very solid season and NWO looks to have something to build off of in the future. They ran a lot of gimmick plays last season which did see some level of success. However, I think this is the season where Sanchez has to develop as a more mature, pure passer. Stephen Terelli is not natural receiver but his incredible speed and ability to judge the ball in the air and adjust to it make him a deadly threat in this division. I can see NWO making further strides and emerging as one of the top teams in division E.

Los Pollos Hermanos- This team may just have well been named KGP Lite Lite. With only 67 calories and a great taste that will never fill you up, Los Pollos Hermanos look like they may in fact be a force to be reckoned with. They will not have qb/safety/potentially a go kart enthusiast Phil Cutler on the quad. However they will have guys like Daniel Chan, Greg Wainberg and Jonathan Garfinkle who are proven offensive threats in higher divisions. Hopefully Cutler will have imparted his knowledge on his teammates. The question however, is whether or not they will be able to execute these concepts. Once we see this team on the field we will know almost instantly whether or not the Chicken Bros. are a real contender or just a great reference to an incredible television show.

DX- DX features Danny Aylward and Foti Evangelista of Two and a Half Dans fame. For those who do not know, Two and a Half Dans have risen through the FPF ranks in no time. After playing in the division 5 final in winter 2013, they then became the giant killers of the Division 4 tournament (we nicknamed them the Butler of the Tourney). This team has experienced player who know what it takes to win. Aylward is good enough to dominate in this division and Foti Evangelista has always been one of the most clutch players that I’ve ever had the pleasure of watching. The rest of the team seems to new to the league, but recent seasons have shown that this is no guarantee that this team won’t compete.

Prove Me Wrong

I just don’t see it. There, I said it! The following are teams that I believe will struggle this season. Go ahead see why I think you will have a rough season and then use this as a challenge to prove me wrong. Rather than sentencing me to captivity on the island of Summer’s Isle, remember that complaints can be forwarded via twitter @EagleFPF.

Fresh MTL- Terry Tam has decided to join the rest of the media members who have thrown their hat into the mix at a chance to compete for the Division E Championship. Given this undertaking, the second best looking FPF personality on the Division E podcast (Flag Plus Bromance)has a lot to prove. He has surrounded himself with an athletic but green squad. The notable names (Outside of Tam Tam Bigelow)on this squad are FPF media Czar and Tyrannical leader Daron Basmadjian, rusher extraordinaire Alex Angelietti, and defensive shut down specialist Yacoub Telemaque. One thing is for certain, this team will be competitive, they will play fast and their defense should be reliable. My doubts rest solely on Terry Tam as a quarterback. If he can prove to be a solid field general, Fresh MTL will rise up the rankings quickly.

Jean Guy- At their best they are a passionate, physical team of grinders. At there worst they have the ability to rub other the wrong way. In the past this hasn’t earned them any favors as they were one of the most penalized teams in division 6 last season. Quarterback Christophe Chartrand is a very good athlete (as established by his 230 yards rushing and 4 rushing touchdowns). This season he has to work on becoming a better passer. I do believe he has the tools but I think this is a learning season for him. Carl Doyon and Emile Lamy find themselves on the roster again and they were Chartrand’s two major threats last season. The way I see it Jean Guy will use this season to mature and grow and they will position themselves well for upcoming seasons. However it will be up to Chartrand et al. to prove me wrong and rise to the level of competition this spring.

Orange Crush-Orange crush went 1-9 in division 6 this past winter season. What make me particularly doubtful that this season will be much better is that the only team they beat ended up 0-10 and Orage Crush ended their season with a -158 point differential. What makes matter worse is that captain Matthew Tamilla posted an ad on the Flag Plus Football wall indicating that the player they had slated to play quarterback tore a muscle in his shoulder and the team is now looking for a quarterback in the late stages of the pre-season. I’ve said in the past that the turnaround from becoming a bad to a good team happens quickly in FPF. The truth of the matter is that I’ve lived it. That being said, usually the turnaround happens when you go out and acquire a significant piece or re0establish your core group of players. They have added Elie Boustany and only time will tell if he is enough.

I Legitimately, Straight-up Don’t Know You

Your names are unfamiliar and I don’t know who you are yet. That being said you have cool team names and I’m sure that you’ll be ready and willing to take the division by storm. In the meantime, send me an email, tell me about your team and tell me why your team is the next up and coming franchise in FPF. Email me at [email protected].

Gingers- I can only assume this is a team with no soul. I hate to say it but it is an absolute, scientific fact, Gingers have no souls.

Hangar Crossfit-I can only assume from your name that you’re in really good shape and you may or may not work on giant aircraft garages.

DG Goons- Other than Brennan Burke, who had a great season in his first as quarterback, the rest of the team seems like a collection of unknowns. Also I can only imagine that the name stands for Dick Grayson’s Goons and I really didn’t think Nightwing needed a possy; you learn something new every day in this job.

Hung-over Visions of the World of Tomorrow

So we’ve changed up our format this season. As I’m the only FPF media member who is covering this division, I decided it would be boring for me to make picks by my lonesome. So, as I prefer to do it in groups (so to speak), I’ve invited Terry Tam, GM Kolethras and Eagle to make their picks as well. So far we are all 0-0 but I’ll be in the lead soon enough!

This is how we think week one will shake out:

GAME	PEEZE	TERRY	GM	EAGLE

DG Goons vs.Orange Crush	DG Goons	Orange Crush	DG Goons	DG Goons
Los Pollos Hermanos vs. Junkyard Dogs	Junkyard Dogs	Junkyard Dogs	Junkyard Dogs	Junkyard Dogs
n.W.o. vs. Gingers	n.W.o	n.W.o	n.W.o	n.W.o
Cream team vs. The Pack	Cream Team	The Pack	Cream Team	The Pack
TDs and Beer vs. Wax On, Wax Off	Wax On, Wax Off	TDs and Beer	Beer and TDs	Wax On, Wax Off
Killuminati vs. Alcohol of Fame	n/a	Killuminati	n/a	n/a
Jean Guy vs. Hanger Crossfit	Hanger Crossfit	Jean Guy	Jean Guy	Hangar Crossfit
Fresh MTL vs. DX	Fresh MTL	n/a	Fresh MTL	Fresh MTL
Old Guns vs. The Minge	The Minge	The Minge	The Minge	Old Guns

Sunday’s Speed Date

If I were a cautious man I’d say something generic like “This season will be interesting!” However, I am not known as a cautious, patient or understanding man. As such I will say this. Division E is ripe to creep up into the foreground this season. It iwll be the most entertaining division, the division with the most story lines, the most competitive games and the most interesting characters. If I can directly steal a sentiment from the USA network: “Characters Welcome”.

For further analysis, tune in to the official FPF division E podcast Flag Plus Bromance where Terry Tam and I will give you all the dos and don’ts of intergalactic dating. Flag Plus Bromance is available at http://fpf.podomatic.com/. Stay tuned for information about when you can watch it live at www.theunclehood.com Until then if you have any questions, comments or demands for recipes please feel free to email me at [email protected] or by tweeting me @PeezeFPF.

Have a great and safe first week of action. See you at the fields!